My, What a Lovely Salad

I wish I could show you this lettuce. It's the most gorgeous lettuce I've ever seen, and though I really hate to brag, I've seen a lot of lettuce in my day. This lettuce sparkles like diamonds. Even though it's been plucked from the ground it seems very much alive. There are tiny tendrils, red as garnets, their crimson veins like a sumptuous leopard skin purse. The greens look like Ireland on a plate - lime colored pieces scattered about with granny smith apples. I don't even want to eat it, it's so gorgeous. But how can I not? I've gotten tiny red zebra tomatoes, lentils, chick peas, basmati rice and a lovely hummus yogurt and dill dressing I made. It simply must be done.