The Ugly Chicken

I couldn't find any chicken in Paris. Roasted chicken is a Parisian thing, yet somehow an exhaustive search down two miles of prime cafe territory yielded nothing but smoked salmon, pate, grilled steak and fries, french onion soup and anything else BUT chicken. Finally, I gave up.

Then I saw Noura, a famous Lebanese restaurant in both London and Paris, that had been on my wish list. I figured I'd get the Lebanese version of roasted chicken, which was schwarma, or charma, chicken roasted on a giant spit left to bathe in its own luscious juices. I also got lamb charma, tabbouli and hoummous. Oh yeah, and tons of attitude on the side.

Only in Paris, I'm told, will you find the rudest waiters on the planet. There were two of them at Noura. The man who sat me did so without a word of hello or even eye contact. He never came to check on me and gave me the evil eye through my entire meal. The meal, by the way, was very substandard. The charma was totally dry and flavorless and the tabbouli and hoummous rivaled those I might find in a grocery store. My tea was $5 and when I ran out of water and asked the waitress for more, she told me, in French, I couldn't have any unless I bought another tea. She smirked at me while saying all this. I knew I understood her, but still it made me so upset I ended up fighting tears. The air was bad. It was rancid, in fact.

Then Kalled came. He was softspoken and kind. He asked how my meal was and when I said the meal was good, he said, "say no more. I understand completely." He knew. How could he not? Thank God he wasn't one of them. I asked him if it was truly their policy not to refill water and he said yes but that he would get me some anyway. He didn't come back for ten minutes and all of a sudden the rude waitress was screaming bloody murder. I heard her scream, "Maximum!" and I knew she was talking about my tea. When he arrived, he set the tea somberly on my table. I told him I knew he was yelled at because of me and apologized profusely. We ended up having a very nice conversation and he completely erased the memory of those awful people. Well, maybe not erased. Let's just say he was the sweet mint in an otherwise bitter tea.